Sudden realisation - self acceptance

Self-Esteem vs. Self-Acceptance

Though related, self-acceptance is not the same as self-esteem. Whereas self-esteem refers specifically to how valuable, or worthwhile, we see ourselves, self-acceptance alludes to a far more global affirmation of self. When we're self-accepting, we're able to embrace all facets of ourselves—not just the positive, more "esteem-able" parts. As such, self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification. We can recognize our weaknesses or limitations, but this awareness in no way interferes with our ability to fully accept ourselves.

Above is extract of some texts

Suddenly I realised what does it mean by you will need to love yourself before you love others.

"As such, self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification. We can recognize our weaknesses or limitations, but this awareness in no way interferes with our ability to fully accept ourselves."

Unconditional, free of any qualification...

Man I have been really bad at this!!!

And does that explain why I'm also really harsh on other people especially people around me? I never able to accept my own flaws and all. I always blame myself for everything. And in turn, I do that to my partner. And my loved ones. I force them to have sky high standards. I got frustrated when they don't set high standards for themselves. Because I would do so too, to myself..

"I regularly tell my therapy clients that if they genuinely want to improve their self-esteem, they need to explore what parts of themselves they're not yet able to accept. For, ultimately, liking ourselves more has mostly to do with self-acceptance. And it's only when we stop judging ourselves that we can secure a more positive sense of who we are. Which is why I believe self-esteem rises naturally as soon as we cease being so hard on ourselves. It's precisely because self-acceptance involves far more than self-esteem that I see it as crucial to our state of well-being."

Maybe I should have stumbled upon this earlier... I'm really so stuck at this low self esteem loophole. And as cliche as it sounds, you will need to love yourself more. I say it everyday, everytime I told my friends all to take care about themselves more, without fully realising the meaning of this phrase. What does it really mean? Love yourself. It takes less than a quarter of your breath to say it out. But doing it? I never realised that I have not been doing it properly.

Everyday there are harsh words that I put towards myself to remind myself that I'm not enough and I need to strive and push more or be more likable, so I can be the person that everyone likes, and I would also love myself more as an outcome. But that day never come. Pity me, myself. Knowing what needs to be done but not knowing how to do it... I'm not accepting myself without any qualification, conditions.. I will need to achieve or do something, only I would love myself and my life more... yes, that's exactly what's on my mind, All the time.

"How Do We Become More Self-Accepting?

Cultivating Self-Compassion, Letting Go of Guilt, and Learning to Forgive Ourselves"

Self compassion.. I don't regard myself as not compassionate to myself but to think deeper, I don't feel that I deserve any compassion!

This has been on my mind these days. Love ourselves.